We all know instinctively what we find to be attractive – especially when we see it.  But defining attraction to others isn’t an easy task.

Scientists have spent a lot of effort trying to figure out how we process attractiveness.  They’ve studied DNA in the form of spit, facial symmetry, pheromones in the form of sweat, you name it…

There’s been a lot of hype in the international media concerning a couple of dating sites that claim to run algorithms on your profile data, and then introduce you to the most compatible members on their site.  eHarmony claims they introduce you to members who have been “pre-screened for deep compatibility with you across 29 dimensions.”

I don’t believe that any mathematical formula is really able to identify your perfect match.  If this were the case there would be very few single people doing their rounds, and I estimate the singles market in South Africa to be at a minimum 30% of the population i.e. 1 in every 3.

So how do two strangers become attracted to one another?

I would define attraction as a two-phased process:  An initial visual assessment (phase 1) followed by an in-depth character assessment (phase 2).

In phase one the following factors play important roles.  (Note that these are all happening on a subconscious level):

• Facial Symmetry:  The human body grows by splitting cells.  When these cell divisions occur precisely, the left and right side are mirror images.  Symmetry makes you appear attractive.  Choosing a perfectly symmetrical partner will give your children a better chance at being attractive too.
• Waist to Hip Ratio (WHR): A female hour glass figure (waste area that is significantly narrower than the hips) has a WHR of 0.7 and is most desirable to men.  Scientists say the place where the body stores fat is determined by hormones called estrogen (in women).  So women who produce the correct amount of estrogen will have a desirable WHR ratio.  These women also have less problems conceiving.  On a subconscious level, attraction is linked to fertility.
• Facial Features: Facial structure gives us insight as to one’s fertility too.  Estrogen stops the growth of facial bones in women, which allows for a much smaller brow and chin area.  In contrast the hormone called testosterone that is found in men assists in developing a larger brow and chin area. These traits are perceived as being attractive because they advertise reproductive health.

In short, we seek a partner who is attractive as we are looking for good genes that will lend a hand to our own genes and flourish when we reproduce.

Dating success depends as much on biology as it does on behaviour.  In phase two, a potential partner’s character is assessed.  Here the attraction will grow stronger if both parties have similar values and a similar outlook in life.