We’ve all been there before. Following a first date we’re filled with feelings of discomfort and inadequacy thinking we could have done a much better job.
If you’re not getting the results you’re looking for and feel that you’re attending way too many first dates then perhaps it’s time to rethink your game plan…
Nerves are normal but it is important not to act out on them as this could make you look and feel awkward. Rather tell yourself that you’re meeting a friend for a quick drink. This will hopefully stop you from daydreaming about the ‘date-to-be’ beforehand.
The most important tip I can give you today is to just be yourself. After all, just think about how embarrassed you will be if your date does like you and then finds out on the 3rd date that you’ve been lying to them.
If the two of you don’t relate, then so be it. There is someone perfect out there waiting to be bowled over by the real you.
Do yourself a favour and talk. Don’t ramble, and don’t be silent. There is a secret middle way that you need to find that will put you and your date at ease with each other. The trick is to give them just enough rope to open up a little and then to provide a little information about yourself.
Don’t sell yourself or brag, even if it is true. Be honest, yet modest!
Which brings me to the next topic: Over-sharing. Yes, there is such a thing as providing way too much information. You need to leave just enough mystery to be uncovered on a second date.
Also don’t delve too much into the future. Talking about your kids and the school you will be sending them to before they’re even born is a major turn-off. Even though you are looking for a serious relationship that will develop into other things, this is not the time to discuss that. Rather focus on the now.
Use your social skills to read and interpret your date’s body language of conscious or subconscious signals. This should help you adjust the conversation if needs be.
Make sure your appearance is giving off the right signals. Perhaps it’s time to get a second opinion? This is especially true if you’ve been sporting the same dress sense and hairstyle for the last 10 years. You would be amazed at what 1 session with an image consultant could do for you!
Finally, step out of yourself for a moment. Think about how you present yourself, your appearance, attitude and communication style. Imagine yourself in your date’s shoes. What do you think?
Most importantly you need to remember to have loads of fun. I’ve said this so many times. Happy, confident people are just so much more attractive!
